I feel like I’m on the “cusp” still, which is a good thing because I’ve noticed that other times when I thought I was on the “cusp,” I really wasn’t… it was more a “manic episode.”  That is never good. And I do have to watch out for that since I’m off all of my psychiatric meds currently.

I think there are two contributing factors for my current “on the cusp-i-ness.” The first one being that I’m finally losing weight. I’ve tried many times before, but haven’t seen this level of success. This is very encouraging for me. The second is my re-commitment to “getting my life/home in order.” I’ve also tried this many times before, but this time I’m looking at it differently. The difference this time is that my goal is to live simply. As opposed to previous times where it was more: Oh crap, I can’t find anything in this house/ I’m so disorganized nothing gets done/ Having a clean house will make me happy/on-time/want to entertain more. Do you see the difference? It is subtle.

I have done a lot of thinking about what Simple Living means to me and here it is:

Simple Living means

  1. not buying stuff just to buy stuff. (I can’t tell you the HUNDREDs of dollars I spend at Target on Lord knows what. Just going there and filling my cart makes me feel happy, until I come home and have bags and bags of things to put away that sometimes sit out for weeks, only to be shoved aside and forgotten.)
  2. teaching my kids to appreciate what they have. (My kids are a glaring reminder of how bad “consumerism” is in our home. They want things just to want things because 9 times out of 10, when they get the things they want they don’t want them any more. Of course, I judge this based on the amount of time spent playing with these things they “wanted” so badly.)
  3. everything having a use and a place. (I’ve made 2 trips to Goodwill already this week, just getting rid of the things I don’t use or never used. I’ve been trying as much as possible to remove the guilt attached to this process. “I can’t get rid of this because I paid x amount for it.” has changed to this: “Ah, getting rid of this will not remind me that I paid x amount for something I never use every time I look at it taking up space/ having to clean it.”
  4. saving money. (Now, this isn’t the most important aspect of simple living, however not having a huge credit card bill has been a very nice bonus– well, at least I foresee it to be.)
  5. taking pride in ownership of what I already own rather than looking to get the newest thing. (I feel like I never sit and enjoy what I have because I’m always looking out for something better. Sometimes I just think I don’t know how to enjoy things ANYTHING. <sigh> I’m working on it.)
  6. having time to complete projects that I want. (I have at least 15 projects that I have started and never finished because I’m constantly thinking or buying for other projects I want to start. It has been a never ending process. I have all these frames I’ve purchased, but never taken the time to order photos for them. I have 2 curtain projects that I have ALL the materials for but haven’t gotten to sewing them because I have these rules that say I must do XYZ first. Macy’s scrapbook stops when Owen was born. Owen doesn’t even have a scrapbook. I really enjoy scrapbooking. I mean, really, REALLY enjoy it. Why haven’t I done it in almost 5 years? Because I have too much CRAP in the way and my rules about doing XYZ first.)
  7. having an easier house to clean. (Let me tell you, the constant influx of stuff through my door makes it very difficult to do any cleaning. I’m always putting away and straightening but hardly ever cleaning.)
  8. not being embarrassed to have people over at a moments notice.
  9. not being embarrassed about buying the things I buy.
  10. not having clothes that haven’t been worn in years and the kids not having clothes that they’ve only worn once before they’ve outgrown. (I know I have tons of clothes because of the various sizes I’ve been and “hoping” to be again. However, the thing that has gotten to me lately is that the kids have WAY too many clothes. Clothes that I buy on sale or on clearance and feel good about buying, but that they just DON’T NEED. Truly, they would prefer to just wear the same 4-5 jeans and t-shirts everyday anyways.)

I don’t think I’ve adequately put into words what I’m going for. It is all that I’ve written and more. It is about simplifying. Paring down to the basics and enjoying what we have. Less is more.

Why is it important to me?

  1. So my kids don’t end up in the same situation I’m in and have been in for 14 years.
  2. To stop the vicious cycle of buying to make me and them happy.
  3. For the peace that comes with each decluttered/simplified room.

So far I have done the master bedroom, the laundry room, and the kitchen counter. Looking and being in these spaces since they’ve been done has been amazing. Peaceful. I’m serious. I look at my kitchen counter and feel at peace. I go into my bedroom and feel peace. I’m happy to do another load of laundry because of the peace that I feel when I’m in the laundry room. 

Shopping at Target has never made me feel that.