With my tendencies toward depression, I’ve always had a habit of checking out the self-help sections of book stores. Seems like there is always some “new” way to fix yourself. However, I,  along with some of my other issues, am a person who procrastinates to unimaginable lengths, who starts many projects but never manages to finish any of them (is there a single word for that? hmmm, I can’t think of one, but there really should be one), and, until I prove to myself otherwise, have been incapable of any real, meaningful personal growth. So here’s an unfortunate, expensive lesson I have learned: all the self-help books in the universe do me no good by osmosis. Just buying the book doesn’t make me better, especially when I never get around to reading it! Imagine my shock and surprise.

However, over the past 6 years I have had some “talk” therapy. And then, since moving to Colorado, I feel like I have really come to understand who I am and what makes me tick. I’ve been really open to self-reflection on some of the things that a therapist suggested about myself, since moving here– things that I didn’t exactly “see” at the time, but I do now or have brought me to some other type of understanding. I’ve kept up more with this blog and used it to really hammer out some emotions I’ve experienced. And, I know I’ve said it before, but even more-so now, I feel like I’m on the cusp of some great, personal understanding/metamorphosis/ ?!?! (something). And like many things in life, I know this thing I’m on the cusp of, even though I don’t know exactly what it is, I know that it will be this journey that I am making and not the destination that will need to be my focus.

And so I now focus. And it feels good. The time feels right. I don’t know why it feels different. But it does. I. AM. READY.